Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
