I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Yo dont text me then not text me
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
