the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
