My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I bet he comes in French.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
