Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
