so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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