i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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