You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
