see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
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So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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