he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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