Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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