I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize