Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
