i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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