I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
