Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
