I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
if only i could text you this smell
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
