Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
