Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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