1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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