For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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