Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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