My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
