just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize