I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
