he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
