It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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