ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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