so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
