my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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