what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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