i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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