You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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