did you get engaged???
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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