it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
