are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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