Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
