I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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