Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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