sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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