just tell him i said nine months
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
In America we eat man semen.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I supernannyed him into submission
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
