Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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