Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
