please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
