in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
