you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
