You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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