He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
