good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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