yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
