I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
