I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
