She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
