Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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