I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
