yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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