I have demons in me.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
