I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
