maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
