I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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