I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You work out of a Hotel?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
