My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
