So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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