At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
