I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize