Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
